Meditations on the Nature of Beauty

Meditations on the Nature of Beauty

If you look hard enough, you can find beauty in just about anything. Even something pointless and weak, like flowers.

The most important thing about beauty is that it’s subjective. For some, beauty is a prize-winning hog at the county fair, while others think that the louder, sicker hog should’ve won.

Some say the “Mona Lisa” is the most beautiful piece of art in the world, which is pretty amazing when you consider all other art is just chiselled statues of hunked-out beefcakes.

It’s beautiful when you see grass pierce through solid concrete to grow, until you remember that grass is everywhere, and, guess what, buddy—you’re next.

People think it’s beautiful that swans mate for life, because humans almost never do. But, to be fair, swans probably agree with all other swans on just about everything, even on what kind of furniture they should get for the guest room.

It’s beautiful when a nation bands together as one, especially if it’s to watch a celebrity car chase.

If aliens ever invaded our planet, we’d have no idea what they’d think is and isn’t beautiful. So you might want to reconsider going out with me.

Once, someone told me that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Then at the boardwalk I saw a shirt that said beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. Then I saw a seagull throw up a cigarette.

Fragility can be beautiful, like butterfly wings, or when a child on an A.T.V. isn’t wearing a helmet.

If you want someone to tell you that you’re beautiful a lot, you could marry them, but they’ll probably say a bunch of other stuff, too.

Being beautiful is different from being hot or being sexy. Being hot is having a symmetrical face and acting like you don’t really care whether you live or die. Being sexy is the same as being hot but you’re also washing a sports car with a cheeseburger.

Of all the songs written about how beautiful America is, my favorite is probably “America the Beautiful,” or “Love Shack.”

If you’re not sure if someone’s beautiful or not, check if they’re wearing a sash. If they are, and it says something like “Miss Idaho,” they are probably beautiful. If it says something like “Going to the Grocery Store,” it’s me. Did you know you can just order sashes?

The marvellous thing about beauty is that it’s all around us and free to enjoy, so there’s virtually no overhead for monetizing it. All you really need is a sunset, an airhorn, and a sign that says, “$10 and I’ll stop.”

Our idea of what’s beautiful changes throughout our lives, as we learn and grow. When you’re young, you might think the most beautiful thing in the world is lingerie football—then one day you wake up, look at your wife and three kids, and realize that the most beautiful thing in the world is simply the four of them, all playing lingerie football. To me, that’s beautiful.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *